Internet Addiction and Internet Sex We are living in exponential times. Over one billion people in the world have access to the Internet. The population of the Americans are going on-line looking for information, entertainment and relationships. Use of the Internet (also called the Net) has grown faster than any technology in history including the telephone, television, computers, video games and CD players. The Net provides everyday users with primarily the Web, e-mail, instant messaging, live chat and the ability to purchase goods and services on-line.
People are naturally skeptical when they hear someone say there are problems when using the Internet. Here are several important research facts.
How could anything that feels so safe and innocent looking be unhealthy for so many people? Feeling good and not realizing the problem is precisely the problem. People can go anywhere, see almost anything, find out virtually anything, do anything and be anybody they want. They act out in ways that are exciting and they can do without leaving their chair or being with a real person. Accountability, supervision and social consequences are missing in a virtual society. Problems The potential problems for new Internet use are significant and may be growing. Nearly 20% of the people going on-line will encounter one or more of the following problems.
Are You Compulsive or Addicted To The Net? Using the Net is not a problem for Internet users who are on-line less than two hours a week. Heavy users are at risk when they are plugged more than 18 hours a week. There is no official diagnosis for an addiction to the Internet. The proposed disorder is called Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD). There is rather exact criteria proposed but it essentially easy to spot a problem. A compulsive and potentially addicted user is on-line more than 10 hours a day in non-work related activity. Answering the question "Am I addicted?" is based on four questions.
You probably have a compulsion if you feel a strong need to get on-line when you should be doing other things in your life. For instance, "Are you forgetting to eat?" Or, "Are you getting up at 3 a.m. in the morning to go to the bathroom and checking your e-mail before you go back to bed?" Checking e-mail at night when no one else is up and for no reason is a compulsion. You may even have early signs of addiction if you feel a need to be on the Internet more and more and feel worse when you stop. Cyber Society People go on-line and they are making friends. For many people the Internet is like a private night club or the place where you can find the friends you’ve always wanted. You don’t have to go out and find real people and have an honest relationship. You can stay in your own chair and explore endless activities. You can walk away and come right back. There is always something happening. People will even miss you and ask you to come back. If you embarrass yourself, or people get mad, then you can just change your name, age and marital status and just start over. It doesn’t take much in the way of bravery to go into the Net. Once you’re in, a user can go anywhere and see almost anything without social consequences or anyone knowing. As result, the Internet is a fostering uninhibited social and sexual behavior. There are clear impacts on relationships when people become uninhibited, dishonest or secretive in life or on the Net. There is much less honesty, integrity and accountability on the Net than there is at work, in school or in a neighborhood. The Internet is now a contributing factor to nearly one half of all marital or family problems. In some cases, relationships are breaking down when a men or woman develops a relationship in cyber society. High levels of Internet use can produce social isolation, loss of real intimacy and depression. Men, women and families are going into counseling for relationship problems that are partly or entirely caused compulsive internet use or virtual addictions. Women are filling for divorce claiming that their husbands are having sex on-line or looking at "pornography" for hours every day. Kids stay up all night. Parents stop relating and spend less time raising their children. The Internet is not only cutting into social and family time but it is also cutting into work. For some employees the Internet is just part of the job. But up to 70% of employees who have high speed Internet access at work can spend up 1 hour a day involved in non-work related activities. At least 6% of people at work use the Internet more than 6 hours per week for non-work related activities. Cyber Brain Washing Knowing what can happen to you, your friends or even your children won’t necessarily help. Heavy users will tell you that the Net will change you. If you spend enough time on-line, the rest of the world starts to look unreal or strange. You may not even notice the change. There is no sure way to know if you will get hooked or how long it can take. Here’s how it happens. Prolonged chats on-line and mouse clicking on the Internet will produce what psychologist call a dissociative state. Net users separate from reality and enter cyber reality. Anyone with children has seen how children can watch television for countless hours. Children and even adults watching television long enough will enter a "hypnotic trance." They "meld" into the television and disconnect from reality. Limited use is a form or healthy recreation or escape. Prolonged and repeated use can create problems. People can disappear into a good book or a movie, but there is always an end to a book or a movie. The Internet is especially addictive because the Net is endless, interactive, social and exploding with never ending images and information. The Net offers exciting relationships 24 hours a day all over the world. Before the Internet children and couples stopped working and talking with their friends after dark. Spending the evening together reading, playing games and watching television together was the norm. But not anymore. How do people get caught up in the Net? For one thing, human beings are curious. We like to see more and do more. Many of us like to travel. When we can’t travel, we like to read books and go to movies. We like to feel competent and in control. Human beings like to feel better and they don’t like to feel bad. We like to do things that feel good and avoid things that feel worse. We especially like doing pleasurable things more and more. Being on the Internet is not necessarily about having a good time. Being on-line might make you feel better but it might just change how you feel. It can be an escape from reality that isn’t necessarily better for you. For some people, a painful or disgusting fantasy is preferable to a less painful or disgusting reality. Have you ever noticed that some people watch television even when there is nothing good to watch. And instead of turning the TV off, they resort to channel switching. The act of switching channels repeatedly is an annoying process that makes the rest of us want to leave the room or take the remote control away from somebody. The Net is a lot like television only the Net is timeless, interactive, challenging and endless. Psychologists explain the seduction and addictive nature of the Net primarily in terms of a behavior modification process called a variable reinforcement schedule. That means you don’t know how much of a reward you will get and when for your behavior. A variable reinforcement schedule is the most addictive reward system. Slot machines are designed and operate in the same principle. When you keep playing a slot machine, the odds are that you will eventually loose everything. But the human brain loves the possibilities and excitement of "winning" in the moment and it ignores the long term consequences. The occasional win doesn’t make up for the overall loss. People play anyway because the occasional win is highly rewarding for those who play long enough. Some people can walk away and stay away. Other can’t walk away or they always come back. The Internet is also more addictive than a slot machine – especially once they begin to master the technology. Playing on the Net can give you self-confidence. A slot machine doesn’t. The most common rewards from a slot machine are those curious noises, spinning pictures and flashing lights. Once in a while a person wins some money. Would you believe it, a cable modem is more addictive than a slower dial-up modem. Most people had no patience for the Internet when they had a dial up modem. The rewards were slow and boring. That changed when high speed modems allowed for rapid "clicking" and responses. People with high speed modems are now disappearing into a world where they wait anxiously for the result of the next click. The surprise, shock value and speed in which a person gets these "hits" of information and imagery are the key to creating a compulsion and addiction. Time begins to have no meaning when your next "hit" is just a "click" away. There is no time to think about something else you could or should be doing - unless you are waiting. People don’t think of what else they should be doing and they increasingly find there is always time for one more click and one more chat. More than a slot machine, everything on the Internet is an adventure with social opportunities. It can be mildly or tremendously exhilarating. People feel rewarded when they finally figure it out why their software or a web site is not working. Every improvement in your skills including upgrades in software and your access to new and exciting links can produces a mind altering change in your brain chemistry. The most powerful change is called a dopamine rush. Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that controls brain function including decision making, impulsiveness, and it is released when you experience certain stimulation. It can improve your mood, confidence and produce a feeling of pleasure. Cyber Sex Men dominated the Net until just recently. Women are on-line more than men now. Men seek out pornography more than women. Women a seeking out relationships. But men and women are using the Internet equally for "cybering" (cyber sex). Cyber sex is defined as the consensual sexual discussion on-line for the purpose of achieving arousal or an orgasm. People involved in cyber sex universally minimize the importance and impact of their behavior. They say "It’s was just on-line" or "It’s not real sex." Patients are telling counselors and therapists that having cyber sex with an adult is not an affair (assuming it really was an adult and not a teenage boy). Marriage and family counselors are no longer asking, "Did you had an affair?" Or, "Did you have sex with someone?" We are now asking "Have you have had sex with someone that you have not had sex with in person?" The bad news is that some teenagers are becoming sexual addicts by the age of 16. The good news is that they are not necessarily having intercourse yet. What’s changes people most is their access to sexual content. People would never have access to such a wide range of sexually explicit material without the Internet. They can get it quickly and easily. It’s really easy for children to explore the Net for hours at a time without being caught. The problem is that people become "cross involved" with other content when they are exploring less intense material. There are web sites that are gateways to other more explicit and shocking content. Before long people can end up involved in sexual content that is way beyond their original interest and desire. It eventually becomes sick. Many people go on-line to find information. But unfortunately the most perverse human and even human-animal sexual interactions are available on-line. The biggest "rushes" for the severe addicts come from violent sexual cruelties that are available on-line. People tell themselves that can just click and look for a second, but they don’t realize that the trauma and stimulating effects are addictive. The most addictive content is the most shocking that changes your mood quickly. A quick look at graphic violence is a "rush" even if you find it offensive. Normal people can become addicted to disgusting content not because they approve but because it changes and excites their mood. People become excited and disgusted at the same time. As people become more comfortable, they begin to disappear and literally live on-line. Some will eventually move from back from the Internet to the real world. Eventually some will start seeking out people for real sex instead of cyber sex. A "danger downloader" is someone who views content that eventually creates a compulsion to explore potentially dangerous behavior in real life. "Danger downloaders" actually go out to fulfill their sexual fantasies with people who have cyber names like "Slave Master". Internet Propaganda People argue that the Internet saves time, but most people are merely spending more time learning how to save less and less time. The end result is that home users are loosing track of time and spending countless hours mastering and playing around with a technology that accomplishes nothing and generate no income. They end up getting behind on work, chores, child care and spending time with real people. Internet technology does not add to the quality of life for most people. It provides a sense of mastery especially because the technology is unreliable and it requires people to master a changing technology. It is interesting challenge and often rewarding. Did you know that more and more web sites are structured to get you there, keep you there, expose you to advertising and get you to spend money? All kinds of trickery and technology are being used to manipulate people. For instance, WhiteHouse.Com is a pornography site. The real White House web site is at WhiteHouse.Gov. And if you mistype the address of a web site for an airline or famous person you could end up in a web site for sadomasochistic bondage. Even worse, you might find that you are trapped and can’t get out. Backloading is a technique where you can’t get out of pornography web sites once you get in. You eventually realize that you have to shut down your computer, but not until colorful, sexual and even traumatic images are burned into your brain. The Real World Vs Cyber World
Psychologists agree than most things in life that have value require effort to accomplish. The Internet is a tool, but not a life. The Internet is a technological challenge, but it is not a real life challenge. It provides users with a sense of mastery in a machine world but not society, work, school or a relationship. The Internet allows for uninhibited social and sexual interactions. The Internet creates a feeling of adventure. It is stimulating and it can easily become shocking. If you need to be certain, go to www.Google.Com and run a search using sexual words. Then be prepared to be shocked at what you, your family and friends can easily find without charge and without verification of age. There is no doubt that the Internet is becoming a substitute for an active life. The Internet is socially safe. But does it really help with shyness? You can go anywhere and be anyone you want on the Internet. Overweight people don’t need to become physically active and eat properly, they can pretend they are young, beautiful and buff, and no one will challenge their fantasy. Shy teenager girls and boys can have sex on line without fear of rejection. You can look at anything and talk to anyone you want without your parents, friends or spouse finding out. There is virtually no accountability when you are on-line. The research on children is becoming very interesting. It turns out that teenagers are in greater risk that adults. Shy boys and girls in large school are especially vulnerable to having problems. Small schools have a lower incidence of teenage Internet addiction. Shy kids in large schools are withdrawing into their rooms. Some are becoming withdrawn, disturbed, and impatient. A few are becoming a violence risk. It should be no surprise that some teenagers prefer the cyber world and become infuriated and lonely in the real world. Children with ADHD are especially vulnerable. The Internet appears to have calming effect and is the perfect escape from distractibility. Instant messaging presents the greatest risk for ADHD teenagers. It is not only becomes compulsive but it puts teens in virtual proximity to adults pretending to be kids. Internet use began to cut down on family TV time. But now people are one the Internet while they are watching TV. Chat, E-mail and Instant Messaging have become major forms of entertainment for an older children and teens. Prevention The Internet has been designed to be visible and accessible. At present, there is no way to effectively prevent access to inappropriate content nor is there a reliable way to restrict activity. What methods exist can be circumvented by clever children and adults. Fortunately there are a number of ways to control Internet use. Businesses have developed the technology to monitor employee Internet use in the work place. Employees are less likely to abuse this resource if they know it is being monitored. Human accountability and social consequences are a major deterrent. Another way to create accountability is to place a computer in a public place. Visibility creates social pressure and consequences for actions. People are less likely to view socially objectionable material in public. Signs of compulsive behavior will become apparent to friends, peers or family members when Internet use is public. While business has adopted technology to monitor employee use, families do not yet have ready access to such software. There is software to load onto your computer and to your Internet services provider that can monitor and let parents and adults know how their computer is being used. Psychological and even physical safety are real concerns since children are connecting to all the information on the planet. Very few parents would not let their child go anywhere anytime and speak to anyone. Likewise, parents should not allow their child to go on-line unless they know where they are going and who they will be with. Leaving a child alone in their room with access to the world is a risky decision. You can’t allow yourself to become Internet ignorant if you care about your relationships or family. You need to know what your employees at work and family members are doing. What adults do in their free time is their business. What you employees and children do is another matter. Children under the age of 16 are not ready to drive a car and they are not capable of resisting or understanding the dangers of being on the Internet. Monitoring and supervision is essential. Finally, prevention is more likely to be assured if you maintain balance in your life. People go on-line looking for something missing in their life or they become involved in content and relationships on-line that begin to interfere with important routines, responsibilities and relationships. Making a conscious effort and commitment to a balanced life in crucial. copyright 2004 to 2008, Michael G. Conner |
Monday, 10 May 2010
internet addictions
internet addictions
AllPsych Journal
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internet addictions
Encyclopedia of
Mental Disorders
Internet addiction disorder
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Definition
Internet addiction disorder refers to the problematic use of the Internet, including the various aspects of its technology, such as electronic mail (e-mail) and the World Wide Web. The reader should note that Internet addiction disorder is not listed in the mental health professional's handbook, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders , fourth edition, text revision (2000), which is also called the DSM . Internet addiction has, however, been formally recognized as a disorder by the American Psychological Association.
Description
In some respects, addictive use of the Internet resembles other so-called "process" addictions, in which a person is addicted to an activity or behavior (including gambling, shopping, or certain sexual behaviors) rather than a substance (mood-altering drugs, tobacco, food, etc.). People who develop problems with their Internet use may start off using the Internet on a casual basis and then progress to using the technology in dysfunctional ways. Many people believe that spending large amounts of time on the Internet is a core feature of the disorder. The amount of time by itself, however, is not as important a factor as the ways in which the person's Internet use is interfering with their daily functioning. Use of the Internet may interfere with the person's social life, school work, or job-related tasks at work. In addition, cases have been reported of persons entering Internet chat rooms for people with serious illnesses or disorders, and pretending to be a patient with that disorder in order to get attention or sympathy. Treatment options often mirror those for other addictions. Although only a limited amount of research has been done on this disorder, the treatments that have been used appear to be effective.
Causes and symptoms
Causes
No one knows what causes a person to be addicted to the Internet, but there are several factors that have been proposed as contributing to Internet addiction. One theory concerns the mood-altering potential of behaviors related to process addictions. Just as a person addicted to shopping may feel a "rush" or pleasurable change in mood from the series of actions related to a spending spree— checking one's credit cards, driving to the mall, going into one's favorite store, etc.— the person with an Internet addiction may feel a similar "rush" from booting up their computer and going to their favorite web sites. In other words, some researchers think that there are chemical changes that occur in the body when someone is engaging in an addictive behavior. Furthermore, from a biological standpoint, there may be a combination of genes that make a person more susceptible to addictive behaviors, just as researchers have located genes that affect a person's susceptibility to alcohol.
In addition to having features of a process addiction, Internet use might be reinforced by pleasurable thoughts and feelings that occur while the person is using the Internet. Although researchers in the field of addiction studies question the concept of an "addictive personality" as such, it is possible that someone who has one addiction may be prone to become addicted to other substances or activities, including Internet use. People with such other mental disorders or symptoms as depression, feelings of isolation, stress , or anxiety, may "self-medicate" by using the Internet in the same way that some people use alcohol or drugs of abuse to self-medicate the symptoms of their mental disorder.
From a social or interpersonal standpoint, there may be familial factors prompting use of the Internet. For
One question that has not yet been answered concerning Internet addiction is whether it is a distinctive type of addiction or simply an instance of a new technology being used to support other addictions. For example, there are gambling casinos on the Internet that could reinforce a person's pre-existing gambling addiction. Similarly, someone addicted to shopping could transfer their addiction from the local mall to online stores. Persons addicted to certain forms of sexual behavior can visit pornography sites on the Internet or use chat rooms as a way to meet others who might be willing to participate in those forms of behavior. Researchers may need to determine whether there is such a disorder as "pure" Internet addiction.
Symptoms
One symptom of Internet addiction is excessive time devoted to Internet use. A person might have difficulty cutting down on his or her online time even when they are threatened with poor grades or loss of a job. There have been cases reported of college students failing courses because they would not take time off from Internet use to attend classes. Other symptoms of addiction may include lack of sleep, fatigue , declining grades or poor job performance, apathy , and racing thoughts. There may also be a decreased investment in social relationships and activities. A person may lie about how much time was spent online or deny that they have a problem. They may be irritable when offline, or angry toward anyone who questions their time on the Internet.
Demographics
In the past, people reported to have an Internet addiction disorder were stereotyped as young, introverted, socially awkward, computer-oriented males. While this stereotype may have been true in the past, the availability of computers and the increased ease of access to the Internet are quickly challenging this notion. As a result, problematic Internet use can be found in any age group, social class, racial or ethnic group, level of education and income, and gender.
Diagnosis
As previously noted, Internet addiction disorder has not yet been added as an official diagnosis to the DSM . The following, however, is a set of criteria for Internet addiction that has been proposed by addiction researchers. The criteria are based on the diagnostic standards for pathological gambling.
The patient must meet all of the following criteria:
- He or she is preoccupied with the Internet (thinks about previous online activity or is anticipating the next online session).
- He or she needs to spend longer and longer periods of time online in order to feel satisfied.
- He or she has made unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop Internet use.
- He or she is restless, moody, depressed, or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop Internet use.
- He or she repeatedly stays online longer than he or she originally intended.
The person must meet at least one of the following criteria:
- He or she has jeopardized or risked the loss of a significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of Internet use.
- He or she has lied to family members, a therapist, or others to conceal the extent of involvement with the Internet.
- He or she uses the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving an unpleasant mood (such as feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, or depression).
Treatments
Since Internet addiction disorder is a relatively new phenomenon, there is little research on the effectiveness of treatment procedures. Some professionals advocate abstinence from the Internet. Others argue that it may be unrealistic to have a person completely end all Internet use. As society becomes more and more dependent on computers for business transactions, educational programs, entertainment, and access to information as well as interpersonal communication, it will be difficult for a computer-literate person to avoid using the Internet. Learning how to use the Internet in moderation is often the main objective in therapy, in a way analogous to the way that people with eating disorders need to come to terms with food. Many of the procedures that have been used to treat Internet addiction have been modeled after other addiction treatment programs and support groups .
If a person's Internet addiction disorder has a biological dimension, then such medication as an antidepressant or anti-anxiety drug may help them with these aspects of the addiction. Psychological interventions may include such approaches as changing the environment to alter associations that have been made with Internet use, or decrease the reinforcement received from excessive Internet use. Psychological interventions may also help the person identify thoughts and feelings that trigger their use of the Internet. Interpersonal interventions may include such approaches as social skills training or coaching in communication skills. Family and couple therapy may be indicated if the user is turning to the Internet to escape from problems in these areas of life.
Relapsing into an addictive behavior is common for anyone dealing with addiction disorders. Recognizing and preparing for relapse is often a part of the treatment process. Identifying situations that would trigger excessive Internet use and generating ways to deal with these situations can greatly reduce the possibility of total relapse.
Prognosis
Although extensive studies have not yet been done, treatment appears to be effective in maintaining and changing the behavior of people drawn to excessive use of the Internet. If the disorder is left untreated, the person may experience an increased amount of conflict in his or her relationships. Excessive Internet use may jeopardize a person's employment or academic standing. In addition, such physical problems may develop as fatigue, carpal tunnel syndrome, back pain, and eyestrain.
Prevention
If a person knows that he or she has difficulty with other forms of addictive behavior, they should be cautious in exploring the types of application that are used on the Internet. In addition, it is important for people to engage in social activities outside the Internet. Finally, mental health workers should investigate ways in which to participate in the implementation of new technology rather than waiting for its aftereffects.
Resources
BOOKS
Young, K. S. Caught in the Net. New York, NY: John Wiley and Sons, Inc., 1998.
PERIODICALS
Beard, K., and E. Wolf. "Modification in the Proposed Diagnostic Criteria for Internet Addiction." Cyberpsychology & Behavior 4 (2001): 377-383.
Beard, K. "Internet Addiction: Current Status and Implication for Employees." Journal of Employment Counseling 39 (2002): 2-11.
Griffiths, M. "Psychology of Computer Use: XLIII. Some Comments on 'Addictive Use of the Internet' by Young." Psychological Reports 80 (1997): 81-81.
Kraut, R., M. Patterson, V. Lundmark, S. Kiesler, T. Mukopadhyay, and W. Scherlis. "Internet Paradox: A Social Technology That Reduces Social Involvement and Psychological Well-Being?" American Psychologist 53 (1998): 1017-1031.
Keith Beard, Psy.D.
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BREAKING ADDICTIONS
| Breaking Addictions |
| Written by Administrator | |
| Tuesday, 05 January 2010 12:18 | |
| Addictions to the flesh are rather common today, even among believers. Over the years, I've been asked by people if I knew anything about breaking them. Some of these folks were addicted to cigarettes, others to illegal drugs, others to pornography, and still others to unhealthy eating patterns (e.g., uncontrollable "binge" eating). I firmly believe what Paul said in Romans 6. Jesus Christ broke the power of the flesh in order that "sin shall not have dominion" over the believer. Salvation in itself is not a cure all. But it provides you with the graces of Jesus Christ to break any and all fleshly addictions. Regarding addictions, a believer can position themselves to receive the power of the cross and the resurrection life of Christ in breaking the back of a particular addiction. My hope is that the following exercise will spread to any and every Christian who is struggling under the power of an addiction. And I trust that the Lord will use it in their lives to "purge themselves" from a stronghold. But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honor and some to dishonor. If a man therefore PURGE HIMSELF FROM THESE, he shall be a vessel unto honor, sanctified, and fit for the master's use, prepared for every good work. (2 Timothy 2:20-21) The following exercise will not work if the addicted person still wants to keep their addiction. They have to be ready and willing to give it up and see the Lord break its power forever. Each step is important. So if you go through with this exercise, you won't want to miss any step. 1. You will go on a 3-day only-water fast. 2. Make a "resolute decision" to fast for the entire 3 days. You will probably break the fast prematurely unless you make a resolute decision. A resolute decision is a decision that under no circumstances will be broken. Once made, you will utter your decision out-loud so you can hear yourself speak it. "With God as my Help, I will not allow food to cross my lips until 6am Monday morning," for instance. 3. Drink only distilled water. Distilled water is much better on the stomach and on the hunger pains during your fast. When I go on a fast, I buy 3 gallons of distilled water before I start. (Health Note: If you have hypoglycemia or something similar, you may need to drink orange juice from time to time when your blood sugar gets low AND you should stay in bed most of the time on the fast. If you run around doing errands, etc. you could endanger your health. This can be very serious.) 4. A fast done the proper way has the power to break addictions and besetting sins if it's coupled with pursuing the Lord. The reason -- the flesh gets weak and the spirit strengthens. 5. Each time your hunger pains get severe on the fast, turn to the Lord. And take Him as your food. Also, drink lots of water, but no more than a gallon a day. Note: the first day is the hardest. The second day is a bit easier. The third day is easier still. 6. You will fast 3 full consecutive days. Example: all day Friday, all day Saturday, all day Sunday. Break the fast Monday morning. 7. During the fast, read these Scriptures that pertain to Christ's victory over breaking the power of sin: Rom. 6 Rom. 8 Rom. 12:1-2, 9 Rom. 13:14 1 Cor. 6:19 1 Cor. 11:31 2 Cor. 6:14 - 7:1 Heb 8:10-12 Phil. 3:13 2 Cor. 5:14-17 Heb. 10:16-17 1 Jn. 1:7-9 1 Jn. 2:1-2 Ps. 103:1-12 Gal. 1:4 2 Tim. 2:19-22 Fellowship with the Lord over these texts. Declare and confess them out-loud during the 3 days. 8. On Sunday night (or the evening of the 3rd day), write down the besetting sin or sins on a sheet of paper. Then, go get baptized by someone or baptize yourself WITH the paper in hand. Full immersion. So the paper gets dunked with you. For the baptism, you may use a pool or even a bathtub if need be. Go fully under the water. In baptism, you are making a full break and separation from the flesh, the world, and the devil. It’s an incredibly powerful testimony. Even if you have been baptized in the past, you will still want to be re-baptized at this point to break the addition. (Jesus said to the church in Ephesus in Revelation 2 to repent and do again “the first works.” Baptism falls under “the first works.”) 9. Finally, when you break the fast on Monday morning, take a piece of unleavened bread (a Matzo loaf or cracker will do - Publix has Matzo crackers without leaven) and a cup of grape juice or red wine. Important: Put a symbol representing the sin in front of the cup and the bread. For instance: Let's say you're addicted to cigarettes. Put the cup and the bread on a table in front of you. In front of the cup and the bread, put a picture of a cigarette or a cigarette box. Put your hands on the cigarette photo and say, "I have no need of you anymore in my life." And surrender it to Jesus Christ. Then push the photo away and take the bread and the cup. Give thanks and praise to the Lord. Now eat a light breakfast. The fast has ended (don't eat much on the day after the fast). Rest in the Lord the remainder of the day as you go about your business. The power of your flesh has been broken. It will no longer have control over you. While you still may be tempted, you now have the power to say “no” to the temptation. In my experience, if someone really wants to purge something out of their life, and they are willing to get rid of it once and for all and call it in its face for what it is, this will help them lay hold of the Lord's power to conquer it. | |
| Last Updated ( Sunday, 10 January 2010 19:00 ) |
RESOLUTIONS
1) Acknowledge the purpose.
Why do you do it? You have to be able to answer that question. Is it to help you deal with anxiety and stress? It may be hard for you to admit that you have a drinking or smoking habit, but you can't change what you don't acknowledge. Dr. Phil says, "What purpose does the behavior serve for you? If you're an alcoholic, you're not just drinking because you're thirsty. Admit to yourself: 'I'm medicating myself for anxiety, depression and pain. It numbs me to life.'"
2) Think rational thoughts instead of denial.
You understand at a conscious level, at an intellectual level that your addiction is unhealthy, yet you continue and this perplexes you. Dr. Phil points out, "If you're in denial about it, if you're minimizing it, if you're trivializing it, if you're conning yourself about it, then you'll never get where you need to be." If you can't get through the day without a shot of vodka, you may be medicating yourself for anxiety, depression or pain. You may need to count on others to help you think rationally.
3) Use alternative coping skills.
People don't break bad habits; they replace them with new ones. Recognize that you get a reward from smoking or drinking. Dr. Phil explains, "It calms you. It takes your anxiety away. It lifts your spirits. It numbs you to the pain of your life. If I take that away from you and then don't put anything in its place, then you're just there stripped of your coping mechanisms and you're going to go back to what you were doing before." Some alternative techniques to consider to replace your addiction are breathing exercises or relaxation techniques. Dr. Frank Lawlis, a mentor and former professor of Dr. Phil's, has a series of relaxation CDs that help shift the way you react to any type of stressful circumstance in your life. You have the ability to quiet yourself. You have the ability to reduce stress levels in your body in a healthier way than smoking, drinking or whatever your addiction does for you now.
4) Identify your danger zones.
A danger zone can be a particular time of day or your reaction to a particular circumstance. There are times that you're more prone to indulge in your habit than others. Recognize what those times are, and do something that is incompatible with the addiction you're trying to break. For example, if you have the urge to light up during your 3 p.m. break at work, take that time to do your breathing or relaxation exercises instead. Dr. Phil encourages, "If you get through that two or three moments of impulse, I promise you it will go away." You don't have to be strong and powerful all day long every day. You just need to recognize your danger zones, and do something incompatible with your addiction.
5) Make lifestyle changes.
"It's not willpower, it's programming," Dr. Phil says. You have to set your life up for success if you're going to break your addiction. If you're trying to stop smoking or drinking, try simple things like not carrying money for cigarette vending machines or cleaning your cupboards of alcoholic beverages. You may have to change the places you frequent, what you do for fun and whom you hang out with. If you are a computer junkie, remove the computer from your house. The best way to stop an addiction is to not have access to it.
6) Be accountable and have a support system.
Being accountable to someone means that that person will not only support you, but will give you the kick in the rear that you need when it gets tough and tell you the truth when you're kidding yourself. Get your family and friends involved in your efforts to kick the habit. If you're a smoker, print out these cards from Dr. Phil that warn your friends to refrain from indulging you. You can also find addiction support on the message boards at DrPhil.com. You need to find a community that supports you during this time and embraces your decision to be healthier. You may also need to seek treatment or check into a rehabilitative program.
7) Reward yourself.
Overcoming an addiction can be very difficult, but it can be done. When you see yourself making progress, even baby steps, you have to motivate yourself to keep going. Give yourself credit. Reward yourself for every step you make, starting with admitting that you have a problem and asking for help.
Read more: http://www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv/Internet-addiction-disorder.html#ixzz0PLfq2hSV
One theory concerns the mood-altering potential of behaviors related to process addictions
some researchers think that there are chemical changes that occur in the body when someone is engaging in an addictive behavior
biological standpoint, there may be a combination of genes that make a person more susceptible to addictive behaviors, just as researchers have located genes that affect a person's susceptibility to alcohol