premature ejaculation

Taming premature ejaculation
By Funmi Akingbade Saturday, 12 Jun 2010
View All (0) Comment(s) Print Post Comment Facebook Twitter Send to friend
Few weeks ago, I promised to dwell extensively on the seven topmost sexual problems facing today‘s couples. We have been able to tackle two out of the seven. In the next few weeks, we shall be taking a closer look into premature ejaculation. Most of the e-mails I receive every week are full of the lamentations of those suffering from early ejaculation. Statements like, ‘I come too quickly and this is embarrassing to me,‘ ‘My wife left me because of premature ejaculation.‘ ‘Please, how best can you help me, I am suffering from premature ejaculation,‘ ‘Because of premature ejaculation, I have lost face with my wife,‘ ‘Is there any cure for premature ejaculation?‘ ‘Please what causes premature ejaculation, is there a way out? Do you know of any reliable drug that can save one from this big disgrace?‘ The interesting thing is that most men will experience some form of premature ejaculation at one point or the other. But only a few know this. Premature ejaculation is a serious concern to some men. For example, long period of abstinence may sometimes contribute to this condition, especially for new newly married men. The urge to ejaculate is stronger when you are not used to the sensation. In fact, it can be so overpowering. Age can also be a contributing factor; the younger you are, the more the testosterone (the male sex hormone) that runs fuller in your body. Too much of testosterone usually lifts the male libido, making the desire to ejaculate stronger. This makes controlling ejaculation more difficult. Even though it is difficult to get an accurate definition of ejaculation, experience and studies have shown that what couples consider as satisfactory lengths of intercourse vary. What some consider as adequate may be inadequate for others. Dr Jeffrey Noble of the Urologic Institute, Cleveland Clinic Foundation, USA, describes the condition succinctly and concisely. According to him, it is the ”occurrence of ejaculation prior to the wishes of both sexual partners.” He says further, ”Premature ejaculation is believed to be a psychological problem and does not represent any known lesions in the brain or nervous system. The organ systems directly affected by premature ejaculation include the male reproductive tract (i.e., penis, prostate, seminal vessels, testicles, and their appendages), the portions of the central and peripheral nervous system controlling the male reproductive tract, and the reproductive organ systems of the sexual partner (for the purpose of this discussion, the partner is assumed to be female) that may not be stimulated sufficiently to achieve orgasm”. However, it is widely seen as the inability of a man to control when he ejaculates or his inability to delay it at will. If you ejaculate before your partner and wishes to last longer without much success, you may be having premature ejaculation because your body has not learned how to handle high sexual arousal without ejaculating. Between 30 and 40 percent of men are believed to be suffering from the frustrating condition called premature or rapid ejaculation. The good news is that it can be successfully treated. Studies have also shown that this condition remains largely untreated due to a number of factors including hesitancy of both husband and wife to discuss the issue with each other and lack of awareness of treatment options. However, what a lot of men who have this condition do not know is that with the right approach, they can easily change the response of their bodies to high arousal. You can learn how to thrust your penis into a warm or wet vagina for as long as you want before you ejaculate. Then, when you want to ejaculate, you simply step up the pace and intensity of your vaginal thrusting so that you go ”over the edge” when it suits you. The other thing that men with these conditions need to know is that it is not a thing of shame. This is so because it is a common problem among men. At the 2006 Congress of the European Society for Sexual Medicine, an American research paper reported that the average lasting time of men with premature ejaculation is 1.8 minutes. Men without this condition, which we may sometimes ignorantly refer to as ‘normal‘ men, lasts an average of 7.3 minutes. In their survey of several thousand males, approximately 10 percent of them said that they often or sometimes had this trouble. They found that it is more common in younger married men-which are not surprising, as there is a distinct tendency for ejaculation to improve with age. Men generally get better control as they grow older. However, a 2004 survey in Europe showed that many middle-aged spouses still had this problem. But there were males who claimed to have premature ejaculation, yet who could last up to 25 minutes. This clearly shows people have wildly differing ideas about what is normal. From clinical experience, many couples regard intercourse that lasts under 20 minutes as less than satisfactory, and feel that any ejaculation in less than 10 minutes or so is decidedly premature. As a working definition, if either you or your partner feels that orgasm is happening too soon, then there is probably some degree of premature ejaculation, according to these groups of experts. While most of the things known about premature ejaculation are myths rooted in ignorance, the frustration and fear that many men experience as a result of premature ejaculation are real. In most cases premature ejaculation does matter, because it makes people unhappy and frustrated. And in severe cases, it threatens or even ruins marriages. Sometimes, the condition is so bad that the man ejaculates even before getting into the vagina. This can be devastating for a man‘s self-confidence. And it can be hugely frustrating and annoying for his spouse - especially, if she is young and desirous of the unique pleasure that only intercourse can give.